Back in the mid- to late 90s, the new fancy thing was the Internet. Internet had IRC (Internet Relay Chat), and until a couple of years into the new millennium, people on there were mostly nerds, mostly nice people in “real life”, and the few perverts who frequented the chats were easy to find, easy to block, easy to call out.
The 90s were a strange time looking back on as a woman. The homophobia was strong. Jokes were crude. Expectations were high. Consent was a theoretic concept. Music was sex fixated. Movies were degrading.
Growing up in the 90s was, for me, a balance between finding out who we were (and missing the shot, mostly), trying to make both my parents, teachers, bosses and friends respect me.
Internet brought discussions and humor about sexuality, society, religion and politics.
In the 2000s, online forums got popular, and IRC faded out into a chaos of normies getting their hands on computers and the internet. IRC became less safe, forums and MSN (Messenger) took over. Safe, self-chosen discussions and DMs with people you trusted became the norm. In 2007, Facebook came as an invite-only community. The forums slowly died. People started communicating through social media where their real names were visible.
But what really pulled me in, over all the years of digital communication, was the real life people, either behind the nicks I saw online, or even people I had never even met online.
Things happened in my life that changes me during the 2000s and 2010s, into the 2020s.
Three times my life was turned upside down, everything I knew was wringed and pulled inside-out.
It became increasingly difficult to keep the mask on so “everyone” would like me, respect me, keep me out of drama.
The last 3 years I’ve turned things back around for myself, started to connect to new people and old people that I haven’t had the guts to be myself with before.
Time is a funny thing too, you can go for so long with no contact and then everything is normal the second you meet your friends again. I’m stable. They’re stable. we have a life and too little time.
But we’re keeping the connection alive through honesty, love, respect and communication.
Faerynatrix 